I Hate English

President, toastmaster, and lovely ladies and gentlemen: Good afternoon.

I hate English, because I can’t speak English as well as you guys. I hate English, because I always say the wrong words at the wrong time. I hate English, because it always makes me feel embarrassed, when I use it.

Now I am going to tell you a true story… about my friend. It’s a cruel and bloody example… about my friend.

Once upon a time, there was a young man, of course handsome, named Danny. He went to the United States to study. In order to improve his listening and speaking skills, he took a part time job at a restaurant.

On the first day, the manager of the restaurant let him be a waiter. He was lucky. His first table was a group of beautiful ladies. After ordering, one of the beautiful ladies, like… Lillian, waved her hand at Danny. She murmured to him, “I need a tray”. At that moment, he felt confused, and really had no idea about what her words meant. Why do you need my tray? That’s the thing that we carry the dishes on. Are you kidding me? A lot of question marks were above his head. However, he didn’t think about it too much, because the manager had just said, “Don’t doubt your customers. The customers’ words are always right”.

Danny rushed back to the kitchen; picked up a nice and huge tray; cleaned it very well, and took it to the lady. He put it in front of her. At the same time, Danny saw three lines on the lady’s face, and there were crows flying above her head. She didn’t say anything, but my friend, Danny suddenly completely understood the situation. He saw a pack of cigarettes on the table. The lady just wanted to smoke, and she needed ashtray, not a tray. What did Danny do to his first customer on the first day? He just heard a word wrong.

On the second day, when he stepped into the restaurant, the manager notified him that he had been transferred to another department. He was now the cashier. He thought that he could do this job very well, because he doesn’t need to say too much in this position. In the beginning, everything went smoothly. He just needed to welcome the customers with smiles and greetings; say goodbye to the customers when they left, and give them their change.

After working for almost four hours, the last table, a grandmotherly woman and her family, was going to leave. The grandmother gave Danny her bill for 49.97. He took her bill and 50 dollars with a smile. He asked her, “Was everything okay, tonight?” She smiled to him, and said, “Everything was perfect”. Then Danny took 3 pennies from the cash register; gave the woman her change, and said “Here are your 3 penis”. Suddenly, the world became silent. Everyone stopped moving. The kind woman just opened her eyes wider and wider; and stared at Danny. She still didn’t say anything. What did Danny do to his last customer on the second day? He just said a word wrong.

    After that, the young man continued to make a lot of embarrassing mistakes in English. However, he grew up day by day, and finally finished his degree. Then he came back to Taiwan, and changed his name to Daniel.

I hate English. In order to deliver this speech, I could not sleep very well last week. I hate English, so I am here. I attend this club, Fluency. After I join Fluency, the way you welcome me, beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen, especially tasty snacks make me change my mind. Now, I don’t know how to hate English any more.

    At first, I hate English so much, but now I get over it. The process is really interesting. Embarrassing moment would be the memorable moment in my life. That is why I share with you all guys today. Toastmaster.