My Second Romance

As a Japanese novelist said in her book, “a middle aged wife is like a piece of old furniture in the corner of a room whose existence is perceived only when it is moved”, most women fear that their existence won’t be noticed by their husbands when they grow old. This cruel statement applies to most women in my age, but I have confidence that I am not one of the useless old furniture.

My husband, Yungsen , was not that kind of my dreaming prince when I was young.

We met each other through match maker. After several months’ interaction with infrequent  date, I decided to terminate the relationship when I was a senior in University. The reason for stopping the relationship stemmed from my mom’s reminding. After a pleasant talk with Yungsen during his visit, she told me:“ Yungsen is a good young man, but his eyes are too small, and looks a little bit ugly. If you marry him, your children wouldn’t be so pretty!”

Three years later Yungsen called me to my surprise when I was working as an accountant in Nestle Co. I was then suffering from infection of my ear lobule through earring hole. So he won the chance to date me again. He took care of my problem patiently and we restarted our friendship. The reason I decided to marry him is he was the so called three-star husband, -- he makes his wife sad(傷心), safe(放心), and confident(信心). I felt sorry for his not handsome appearance. One the other hand, I was also confident that no woman would take him away from me because he looked safe.

As time passed by, we had to face a cruel fact. I am getting aged but Yungsen is becoming more attractive to the young single ladies by his success career. Furthermore, for the company of my daughters in United States, I had to leave him alone in Taiwan for one year. He became an independent Taiwanese(台獨份子). My three elder brothers didn’t agree with my decision and warned me; “You would get the divorce certificate before your daughters get the graduation certificate!” And there are many tragedies of marriage occurred just because of the wives’ leaving abroad to accompany their children. The same story happened again and again within my social circle. Despite of all the concerning from my brothers and friends, I felt comfortable to stay in USA for one whole year because I own a three-star husband.

Nevertheless, I began to lose a little confidence on my marriage by a call from my sister-in-law. She asked me: “Why Yungsen stayed at hotel in Taipei instead of my home when he came to Taipei for the academic seminar?” Additionally, a bad news of my good friend’s divorce bothered me at the same time. My friend’s husband betrayed her when she left for Canada for her daughter’s summer school. Furthermore, one day, Yungsen told me by phone jealously that his classmate was going to remarry with a nurse younger by twenty years. All the information warned me to protect my marriage! I decided to rebuild our romance after 18- year’s marriage.

First of all, I needed to turn long distance to my advantage. Everyday, we almost had one hour conversation on phone to discuss the problems our daughters encountered, and reached the same opinion to help them go through it. Instead of being romantic, I wrote emails to Yungsen frequently to express my motion from what I saw in real life and in novels. Although most of the stories didn’t directly relate to us, we discussed about the different aspects of the plots and the emotional appeals we get out from these dramas. Both of us found the brand new spiritual relationship we have besides simply passion. Especially, our previous 18 years were fully occupied by our three daughters. As the girls are growing up and becoming independent, we recognized that we should set up new bond based on common interest and viewpoint of value. We cherished the chance to challenge our marriage and rebuilt our second romance thereafter!

Am I the old furniture in a corner? Definitely not! I am sure I am the precious jewelry on the crown instead of old furniture in the corner. My second romance has poured new life into my marriage. What about yours?