I want my accent back (A5)

---Don’t go changing…. Ladies and gentlemen, if you know this song, you’re probably as old as I am. If you can even sing along, you are even older than I think. But just like the song’s lyric.. I love you just the way you are; the question is: do we really love ourselves just the way we are? Now you may have noticed the little cute Taiwanese accent I was using. I have no intention to make fun of it because that’s how I spoke 20 years ago when I first went to US. But in less than 3 years, I forced myself change my accent totally. Why?

---Before I went to US I had never thought any wrong with my accent. When first year I was attending a graduate school there, I met a girl Sally. She was so attracted to my exotic Taiwanese English; and one thing led to another, she became my girlfriend. We had some good times.. When she took me home to visit her family in a very small town near Little Rock, Arkansas, that’s when the change started.

---It was a village with a population less that 600; so small that it didn’t even have a McDonald. I was probably the only Asian they’d ever seen. I was greeted more with curiosity than hospitality. They were so curious about me and the way I talked as if I was a talking monkey (maybe a little exaggerated but that’s how I felt). Especially her brother liked to make fun of me by mocking my accent. On dinner table, he would speak to Sally normally like: “Sally, would you pass me the butter and bread” and turned to me like: “Simanne, will youuuu liiiike sommm breaadddd and put the butteeerrrr on ittttt” And the whole family would burst into laughter; including Sally. That was the first time I felt uncomfortable about my accent and being so different from others. I decided to CORRECT my accent so I could fit-in better. I practiced very hard and finally succeeded in getting rid of my INCORRECT accent.

---When my accent changed, so was my relationship with Sally. The more North American accent I got, the further Sally got away from me. At the same time, a visiting professor from London with heavy Oxford accent seemed to get Sally’s attention. I thought maybe she would be impressed if I could come up with the same accent. So I practiced and practiced. With my newly acquired voice I asked her for a date: My dear Sally, May I have the honor of inviting a delightful lady like yourself for a cup of tea and make me the luckiest man in world? She simply said: Simon, stop imitating Professor Flannigan. You will never be like him.

---In desperation, I thought about the language which impressed most American is French! I wanted to pick up French accent to impress her. Again with hard practice, I called her with this stupid accent: “Gomo ba le-vu, Misseur Sally, may I hav the superb hanar to hav you in a superb café’ where I hav made a reservation for os. Would you com and hav a sip with me..” She yelled : “Stop it, Simon! Changing your accent doesn’t change who you are, I don’t care even if you change your skin color. I’m just not interested in you anymore!”. Her words broke my heart and woke me up too. She’s right, I could never change who I was. I lost my identity trying to please others; and how could I blame her for not loving me when I didn’t even love myself for who I was.

---When I returned to Taiwan, the accent problem shouldn’t bother me anymore and even worked in my advantage. Many said to me: “Simon, you speak English so well, Where did you get this accent?” I took it as a compliment. But the truth is not flattering at all.

---One of my friend owned a English cram school which provided one-on-one tutoring service for children. I was recommended by him to a parent who specifically required someone with CORRECT North American accent to tutor his daughter. Upon arriving at this man’s fancy house, I was greeted with a shocked faced. The man asked: “Are you the tutor?” I said: Yes sir, I am! “but you’re not an American.” I said: Sir, you only asked for someone with CORRECT accent not someone with CORRECT nationality. The little man said: “But only American can use correct accent and you are Taiwanese.”

---Suddenly I realized that I was discriminated, not by foreigners, but by my own people. Whether I had the right accent or not was not important; what really mattered was I didn’t have the right FACE! I said to him: Sir, I think what your daughter needs is not an English tutor but a plastic surgeon. You should have her skin color and facial features changed to the CORRECT one, and she’ll have the right accent automatically. Of course, I didn’t get the job.

---I felt pity for that man. He reminded me so much of myself. I was as stupid as he is. So, now when people say to me: “Simon, you speak English so well, where did you get this American accent?” I will reply: Thank you, but this is not American, it’s Taiwanese. Because it is used by a Taiwanese who is proud of who he is. Ladies and Gents! You have so many outstanding members are Taiwanese but whose English are perfect.. like Cathy, Angie and Kim…Be proud of who you are!